what i remember most about my birthday
this year is confusing. on the one hand, i can
recall perfectly the empty feeling as i
spoke with a drunken friend, who pointedly
asked why i was going home, instead of going
upstairs to see what you were doing. i didn't
have the right, then, so i made the trek home
in the one blizzard of this year, stubbornly pulling
in each biting breath of freezing air, only to
find solace in the bed of my best friend,
finding free food and snuggling into her
shoulder, the outside air condensing into
tears pulling the edge of my lashes down.
but my birthday was the last of the epic birthday
week, which is also recalled in perfect crystallized
memory; captured on camera by another trying
to capture what would be, could be. to convince
me to go for it girl, i deserved it. surrounded
by all my closest friends, sharing laughs and
the bill. still, i remember most clearly the
smell of your skin brushing past my cheek as
the click of the camera went off in the distance.
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